Nature or Nurture?

Husband is currently on the other side of the country for work-related stuff.  Last night he had dinner at the home of a colleague who went out of his way to apologise for his 3 and 5 year olds.  He explained that they can be really naughty and sometimes jump on the furniture.  This is not the first, second or even third time that John has had to stop himself from telling said friends/colleagues that they don't know they're living.

I describe our 5 as "feisty".  Some who have met them, or witnessed their behaviour, might go so far as to call them "feral".  While we discussed this on the phone this morning I said that we have to accept that the gene pool was never going to provide us with calm, quiet, peaceable children.  If I ask one of them to do something, it's as though they see it as a challenge or a dare.  For example I might say "stop jumping on the sofa" the response to which might be the child in question eye-balling me as they jump on it again.  Do they like to be told off?  Nagged?  Shouted at?  I don't know.  Life could be so much quieter.   If I say "No" to some request in the shop, we generally don't get tantrums but there may well be strong requests for me to explain "Why not?" to which I often eventually resort to "Because I said so" or even just "Because" when all my other answers are rejected.

I occasionally look after a lovely friend's kids before school and she always asks if they have behaved.  They rarely speak and are beautifully mannered, I am sure that the same can not be said when she returns the favour with Joseph and Meg who are capable of beautiful manners and being cooperative for others, but never quiet or calm.  Ever since they were tiny we have had to tell them all not to talk to strangers, not in response, but just to leave strangers alone!  This was seen yesterday in Aldi when Robert grilled a poor lady about the contents of her shopping basket, demanding to know if she had a dog "because you have dog treats".   They have, none of them, ever been backwards about coming forwards!

I have to look on the positive side and say that while we may have to put up with a very noisy, sometimes challenging house, our kids will reply when addressed by grown ups and can hold a sensible conversation when necessary.  They have strong opinions, can express themselves articulately and do not feel in the slightest bit swayed by what others in their classes or friendship groups think.  They are mostly confident and are learning to deal with issues of temper and the urge to 'discuss' things at top volume...

Having said that, it would be so lovely to ask children to do something and have them just do it the first time without questions, debate or threats!

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Blogger...

To continue in the vein of my last couple of posts...

Want to know what kind of blogger I am?

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The kind who sits and reads through all the blogs I follow in my reader, along with others that people link to, as I gulp down my breakfast.  I laugh, nod in agreement, sigh and then race off to deal with children without letting you know I stopped by, or updating my own blog to give you something to read over your breakfast!

It's not "nice manners" as I would tell the children, but I hope any of you who read this will appreciate the pace of life with 5 kids in 3 different educational establishments to despatch in the mornings, never mind the chaos and busyness at other points in the day.  I don't often get back to reading again during the day and am sorry that I don't interact as much as I know many of you do.

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with this blog.  It started out as one thing but I'm not sure that is what I want it to be anymore.  I hope it is entertaining and maybe makes you feel better about your parenting, in comparison to my slap dash approach, or even just as if you're joining me for a cuppa in real life to catch up with our goings on.  I would like to rant and moan sometimes, but am not entirely sure our 'relationship' is ready for "the Dark Side" yet!  

Anyway, in "real life" I have become a published writer!!  Sort of by accident really, but I gave a friend (who edited a local parenting magazine) something I had written about kids and exams and having fun.  I didn't hear back and assumed it was too awful for consideration, then was flicking through the August edition at pre-school when I spotted my name in the list of contributors!  I very nearly fell over with excitement!  Even more exciting was over-hearing a couple of teachers in a cafe discussing it!  It was all I could do not to introduce myself.   If you live in Newcastle or the Central Coast you might be able to find it in Newcastle's Child magazine in libraries, cafes or clinics.  Unfortunately there is no online link but I will see if I am able to publish here at some point.

I'm away to do some tidying.  Husband is off on a work trip to WA for the rest of the week and I like to show him that we can (just about... sort of...) cope without him so that he doesn't worry.  I'll be popping in to see you all in the morning!

Wife...

Want to know what kind of wife I am?

The kind who forgets to wash her husband's football kit...

...and he's the Captain.

It hasn't been a great week for my reputation!

He would like me to point out that he is not the kind of husband that expects his wife to wash his kit, but rather I'm a laundry control freak and won't let him near it.

Mother...

Want to know what kind of mother I am?

The kind who is late to pre-school to pick up her child because she is painting her toenails...

...and then ignores her older children as they come home from school so that she can blog about it.

Edited to add:   I wasn't too late, gave him more time to play, and when the Big Boys come home they only grunt until they have fed themselves!

Eight

Miss Meg was 8 on Saturday.  We were all prepared for a weekend full of football, 3 matches from early Saturday and probably 2 matches on Sunday.  We had discussed when we would manage to fit in birthday presents amid the rushing and chaos and had settled on a day in Sydney during the week (picked according to the weather forecast, as it happens, very well picked!) and presents most likely Friday night.  As it turned out, we had our day out then all football was called off due to waterlogged pitches.  Result!

Our day in Sydney was based around the Narnia Exhibition at the Powerhouse Museum and Meg's request for Yum Cha.  I had asked for recommendations on facebook and was told Marigold on George Street was the answer.  Having never experienced Yum Cha I did some googling so that I knew what was involved.  It was a great, if not slightly scary, experience!

We'd eaten most of it by this point!

We then had a quick dash to Gap and back to the Powerhouse.  The kids all enjoyed Narnia, Robert insisted on a quick whip around the Wiggles again, then the Lego exhibit before heading out to Darling Harbour where we couldn't drag the kids away from the playground.

Darling Harbour appears to be haunted!

On the way back to the car they were all doing their usual jumping about in fountains when 2 of the boys collided and Jonathan went in, we all laughed, then Meg went in!  We laughed again and then Joseph went in!  I couldn't believe it and couldn't speak for crying with laughter!  Thankfully they were also laughing and not too far from the car to get stripped and cosied up!

When Saturday came around she had requested Lego, which, as you can no doubt tell, is the "in thing" in these parts at the moment, and I was very glad indeed that the Target Toy Sale just happened to coincide and meant I could get both things she had mentioned, from us and on behalf of the "rellies".  Thank you Target!

She did some building, then we had a little Mother-Daughter time at Frankies Place, then friends came for dinner and Sand Castle birthday cake in the evening.  Rachel made flags for the cake and decided on a Saltire for Meg's place of birth, a Tricoleur  for Bastille Day and the Australian flag for our current position.  If there had been room, there would have been a Union Jack.  Niamh was a little disturbed that there was no English flag!  Meg declared it to be the "Best birthday EVER!"

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Wild and Woolly!

This is a bit of a belated post, kids are on holidays so I'm a wee bit busy!

I've mentioned MakeSpace, the artisan cooperative coordinated by my friend Edwina, before and I've also mentioned Renew Newcastle, an initiative to fill old, and often run-down, shops on the Hunter Street Mall (in years gone by the main shopping street in Newcastle) with non-rent paying groups of artist or crafters who do up the spaces and make use of them until someone wishes to rent them.  The aim is to Renew Newcastle!  MakeSpace is now onto it's 4th shop, having done a great job of making their previous spaces desirable to renters.  This Thursday just gone was the annual Winter Wander where the locals get to have a look and see what all the different Renew participants are up to, have some mulled wine and sticky date puddings, a bit of communal crochet (or pompom making) and listen to some live music on the Mall.  I took some photos early on but by the end of the evening, Edwina said they had served 220 sticky date puddings in 20 mins!  It was a busy evening!  Unfortunately we didn't get around to yarn bombing the Mall but we had a bit of a crochet-along and I sold a scarf!

After all the wandering was completed, there was an invitation to go along to the hippest (in the most Hipster sense you can imagine) new bar in Newcastle, Terrace Bar, where there was food, wine and music.  Edwina and I stayed on when the others left as, with 8 kids between us, we don't get out often and got a little excited to go upstairs to hear the music!  We were looking forward to the music until it started and we realised that we were too old to be deafened and headed back down stairs!  Couple of old dears! 

We ended the evening by tracking down some fantastic pides in Beaumont Street before heading home before midnight.

Meg and I managed to make it to the Olive Tree Market on Saturday, thanks to no football,  and came across someone new, Blonde Samurai, who makes gorgeous glass beads and necklaces which will make very nice presents come Christmas time, along with our usual favourites such as Frejj, Sketch and Jones, DJL tees for the men in our lives, Jo Dyer and Pipkids.   We came home to a nice tidy house - good boys!

As for the holidays, there has been much of the usual, although since Wimbledon starts about 11pm here, it's usually following a long lie-in...  Hoping Andy can deal with Roger swiftly tonight as I could really do with an early one!

Back soon, maybe even with some crochet...

SAD

One of the things I did not expect when coming to Australia, is that I would still be so affected by Winter.  "What Winter?!"  I hear you Brits crying!  Well it's currently 6c according to my computer which is pretty parky when you don't have central heating and Aussie houses are built like caravans!   I have days if I stay in the house when I am so chilled that I just can't get heated up.  The sun doesn't reach into our house due to it's position on the hill but I refuse to put on any heating until 5pm, we just rug up with ugg boots, fleeces, jumpers and dressing gowns!

In the UK I used to get hit by it around January/February time.  It took me a few years to twig that I would have an uncharacteristic period of not coping, weepiness and inability to motivate myself.  Once I had worked it out I made an effort to book in things to look forward to (as much as possible when pretty much constantly pregnant or breast-feeding!) such as my annual haircut(!!), or a day out somewhere.

The last couple of years I have found myself feeling the same way, I dread the shorter days and cold nights and find that I am unmotivated to read, or do anything creative.  However this year I think the fact that I am bored rigid has also contributed.  I always tell the kids that only boring people get bored, but I think I have passed my SAHM date.  I had planned on 10 years but am now in my 14th, I haven't been successful in finding teaching work here (plenty of RE jobs going in the UK...) and so am feeling a bit aimless.  Between 3pm and 9pm I am run ragged with activities so have been making the most of Mon-Wed, when I am child-free between 9 and 3, to get out of the house, walk the dog, get warmed up, have a coffee, attempt some writing and see the sea.  It has definitely helped to keep me sane this Winter.    We have also enjoyed LiveSites Winter Heat again, and I'm sure having 3 birthdays within 5 weeks helps keep me focussed on fun times.

The kids are now at home for 2 weeks so no 'Me time' but plenty of action/drama/fun/frolics will, no doubt, be had.  And plenty of sleepless nights and lie-ins as I stay up to watch as much of Wimbledon as possible!  Then we will be heading into Spring and hopefully some exciting plans.

I would love to know if any of you suffer too and how you deal with it.  In an ideal world, I would take to my bed with a cosy duvet for a couple of months!